Author: farms19

Part time blogger. Part time traveller. Part time restaurant manager. A travel addict and certified bookworm. At 30 I still haven't figured out life and am just enjoying the ride!
travel

What I discovered in Vietnam…

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It is amazing.

There you go job done. 
Seriously though I wasn’t sure what to expect in Vietnam, I’d done a little research but I completely fell head over heels in love with this place. 

Let me tell you why…

The people are so friendly. From the minute we arrived at the first hostel nothing was too much hassle for our hosts. Friendly and helpful was every person we encountered on our journey through. 

Phong Nha National Park is full of natural wonders and my favourite place we visited, we loved it so much we extended our stay there. We went for the caves and caves we got. Specifically Dark Cave which you zip line down to, swim into, have a mud bath, take a mud slide back to the river and then kayak your way out. The most fun day if not a little exhausting! But it’s not just caves, the National Park itself is stunning and packed full of adventures to be had, whether you want to climb a waterfall, ride a buffalo, spot monkeys or just rent a scooter and enjoy driving through, it’s a natural treasure trove and you could never be bored.
Pho. Easily my favourite of all Vietnamese food I had it at least once a day. Could be found in any cafe, restaurant or stand at the side of the road for mere pennies and always so so delicious.
The lanterns of Hoi An. We rocked up to Hoi An pretty damn hungover, not in the mood to do anything and reluctantly dragged ourselves to the old town once we were there my hangover vanished. So many lanterns. Everywhere. It has to be one of the prettiest places I’ve ever been and I could have kept wandering through the night time streets for hours.

Sleeper Buses. Sounds a bit weird but I found these buses the most fun. You lie down in these couch type seats and have a little cubby hole to stretch you legs out in, and I had no trouble happily sleeping the entire journey. I guess being short was an advantage here, but still a Vietnam experience not to be missed! 

The price. Everything is so cheap. Every hostel had free beer in the evening and happy hours running almost constantly. Even if it wasn’t happy hour every bar sold beer for 50p or even less. Even the best street food was just pennies. And the markets were so incredibly easy to get carried away in. Even renting scooters for the day cost about £7 including petrol! For the time we were there we lived like Queens and still came in under budget!

The history. Vietnam has a rich and turbulent history. Constantly fighting off invasions from neighbouring countries throughout the centuries. They threw over a long Chinese occupation before their 100 year colonisation by the French. And finally once they’d overthrown the French the country was divided and became embroiled in an American aided civil war, the effects of which the people suffered for decades following. Yet the people came through all of this with a strong sense of pride in their country and it’s cultures and with no hate in their hearts. As we were repeatedly told by the Vietnamese we met we do not hate the Americans it is in the past. 

I could go on forever about why this place is so amazing but to put it simply; Vietnam is a beautiful, rich and enchanting place of which we only scratched the surface and I know for sure I’ll be back so very soon. 

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Snapshots of Vietnam…

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From Top to Bottom: The Old City Gate in Hanoi, Temple of Literature in Hanoi, Phong Nha National Park (the botanical gardens), The Lanterns of Hoi An, View from a rooftop bar in Ho Chi Minh/Saigon, Saigon Beer, Hoi An Market, A temple in Old Town Hanoi and the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh.

“I’m going on an adventure”
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“I’m going on an adventure”

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I am a firm believer that travelling heals the soul. 
After my mummy died I lost it a little bit and a year later took myself off travelling around Europe for the entire summer. I came back a thousand times better and happier and with a serious travel addiction.  
There is something about stepping off the plane or train or bus into a completely different world and just being entranced. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t cried on occasion. 
For me travel has a magical healing power. You can get over just about anything by heading off to discover a new place. 
So I’m taking myself off again for five whole weeks this time to discover South East Asia; Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. 
This trip was planned well over a year ago with my sister but it couldn’t have come at a better time. I have had a strange few months with heart break of all different kinds on all different scales. I’ve worked myself stupid, slept far too little and worried far too much, so my plan… to step off that plane and let real life fade away. To let the travel bug take over, live the moment and experience everything! There is a whole wide world out there, full of the most amazing sights and tastes and experiences and people and I am going to take advantage of every opportunity to discover it. I’ll keep you posted!  

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When someone you love dies it throws a new perspective on life…

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I have been selfish this summer. I have been so wrapped up in the silliness of boy drama and work drama and gossip and worrying about what is going to happen next to appreciate what really matters.

Last week we lost our beloved Granny. Whilst I was dancing and drinking my summer away she was feeling sicker and sicker until finally she checked herself into a hospital and we discovered the worst. Pancreatic cancer. Nothing they could do. And the end came almost too quickly to believe. 

This is real heartbreak.

And what is left are all those missed moments, those times I could have spent with her but didn’t because I was too wrapped up in my own giddy life. 

But there is nothing to gain from dwelling on these. Instead it is time to focus on all the little moments we shared…
The first time I performed on stage in the village pantomime she sent me flowers “because an actress should always have flowers”

She taught me to ride my bike without stabilisers and then cycled it into the rose bush herself.

We always went to the library to pick out books, I was obsessed with Enid Blyton, one summer staying at hers I devoured the entire secret seven series in a week.

When I was little we baked so many cakes, fairy buns with white lemon icing. Between her and my mummy I learnt all my baking skills.

She stood behind me at my mummy’s funeral and comforted me whilst I broke down. 

She sent me cards on every occasion, every performance, every exam passed, every new home, every milestone.

It is these fleeting moments, these little gestures that make life. We need to appreciate every one of them, stop focusing on the what ifs and the silly things that go wrong and just live in these little moments. Because that’s all life is really just lots of and lots of small moments and before you know it they’re gone.  

Dean Lewis’ songs are beautiful and you should all listen to him…
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Dean Lewis’ songs are beautiful and you should all listen to him…

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Last week I went to see my current obsession Dean Lewis perform. It was a small intimate gig in St Pancras Old Church just him, his guitar, his keyboard and his insanely beautiful voice. It was one of those magical moments in life where you just stop and enjoy the moment. I felt calm, I felt happy and I came out floating. (FYI all gigs should be in churches!)

Dean Lewis’ EP ‘Same Kind of Different’ has been my soundtrack to the emotional rollercoaster ride that has been my summer. His songs full of emotion about falling in love, getting your heart broken and moving on, are a reminder that you are not alone in this. Other people fall in love and get their heart broken and guess what, they come out the other side. 

And sometimes what you really need to get you through a rough patch is a beautiful song that you can shout-sing along to in the car, blast in your ears on your commute to and from work or cathartically sob into a glass of red wine to.

So if you’re feeling a little down go give Dean Lewis a listen. Especially his song ‘Be Alright’ which will give you the good ass kicking you might need with it’s wonderfully truthful lyrics… 

“And my friends said I know you love her but it’s over mate, it doesn’t matter put the phone away. It’s never easy to walk away but let her go and you will be ok. Cause it’s gonna hurt for a bit of time. So Bottoms up let’s forget tonight. You’ll  find another and you’ll be just fine. Let her go”

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‘500 Days of Summer’ is the best movie to fix your broken heart…

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A couple of months back I wrote a post about how I was falling for someone and I promised to keep you updated, well here is the update, it crashed and burned.

A could have been relationship is the hardest of them all. The giddy glimmer of potential, and the glimpse of a possible future is followed by the slow dawning realisation that that never really existed and it never will. It’s almost more heartbreaking than the ending of a real relationship because there are so many what ifs, there’s the constant nagging idea that this could have been amazing but somehow it just never made it.

It’s a sickening feeling, there was something you could almost grasp and you let it slip through your fingertips. And I have spent the last few weeks trying desperately not to feel so damn miserable. Last night I curled up in bed with a cup of tea and watched ‘500 days of Summer’ for the first time in forever and seriously it helped.

I stated previously I wanted the kind of love you see in the movies or read about in books, but turns out even in movies those loves sometimes don’t work out. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows sometimes it’s messy and complicated and you get knocked down. This film is a reminder that finding your soulmate isn’t the be all end all of life. So a relationship didn’t work out, so you got your heartbroken wallow a little, then pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on there’s more out there for you. It takes Tom losing Summer to finally quit his job and follow his dreams of becoming an architect, so it doesn’t have to be something quite so life changing, but you get the point even from the shittiest situations good things can come.

Despite the film being about a relationship that never makes it, it is still so full of hope. As Summer says “Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” A point very much proved when we see Tom meet Autumn at the end of the film.

So yes be sad, you’re allowed to be, but grab a cup of tea (or a glass of vodka) curl up watch this film and remember that there is always hope, life will work out one way or another just hang in there and try to enjoy the journey.

Why Autumn is going to be fantastic…
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Why Autumn is going to be fantastic…

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We all know I love a good list, especially when I need to get a little life perspective or need cheering up. So here is the latest of my cheer the fuck up lists for anyone who is missing summer, terrified of how fast 2017 is going or is generally a little down in the dumps. Autumn is going to be fantastic because…

  1. Boots and Scarfs. My two favourite clothing items are my black Topshop ankle boots and my Hufflepuff scarf and it is officially cold enough to bring them out of their summer hibernation, the excitement is unreal. Maybe these particular clothing items may not appeal to you, but you have to admit autumn offers us all the opportunity to bring back out some of our favourite clothing items, cosy knits, coats and hats galore!
  2. Hot Drinks. I love my morning coffee to get my brain in gear and an evening treat of tea and biscuits for dunking but in summer I just can’t face hot drinks. Don’t get me wrong I love an iced coffee as much as the next girl but its no substitute for the real thing. One of the real joys in life is picking up a cup of coffee on the way to work and wrapping your hands around it to keep you warm.
  3. Autumn TV. September brings an end to the summer of trashy reality shows filling the screens (although if I’m honest I still miss Love Island) and kicks off a season of high quality dramas, period dramas and of course The Great British Bake Off. Yes there’ll be no more evenings drinking in parks or pub gardens but instead we can curl up in front of the tv and watch people bake cakes!
  4. Tourist season is over. For those of us who live in London it will never truly be quiet but the hoards of tourists who descend upon the city during the summer months have decreased dramatically which means I can finally walk down streets without wanting to scream “get out of the way” at all the people blocking my route. It also means that theatres are much quieter and therefore I can finally get my hands on cheap tickets for all the shows I want to see.
  5. Winter Walks. There’s always that awesome bonfire smell lingering in the air, the trees look so pretty, the air has that crisp freshness to it and there’s always a great pile of leaves to crunch your way through. Walks in Autumn are truly the most satisfying.
  6. Party season is upon us. There’s Halloween, bonfire night (my birthday) and Christmas all just around the corner, whilst summer drinking is fun in its own way everyone knows the best parties come at the end of the year!

So cheer up guys, 2017 is not over yet the best 4 months are still to come and they’re going to be great!

How to stop self destructing…
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How to stop self destructing…

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I am an expert at self destructing. When feelings get too much or too messy I throw myself full pelt into life. James Dean’s famous “live fast die young” catchphrase is a motto I tend to live by. Yet at 26 the funny stories are tainted with a little bit of sadness and the consequences are that much bigger. Instead of logically facing problems I run headfirst into destruction mode, subsequently destroying something when I could have tried to save it.

This weekend, after yet another drunken night with yet more stupid descisions made, my friend told me plainly that I’d reached tipping point, it was time to step back and start making responsible descisions. The problem though is how do I do that, I have spent an entire summer at full speed ahead, how do I put the brakes on and slow the hell down? 

I love a good list so here we have my action plan to stop self destructing…

1) Start looking after your body. My job has ridiculous hours and this summer I have worked all of them, which means sleep is a distant memory and my diet consists of the menu at my restaurant and whatever food I can pick up on my way to and from work. It goes without saying too little sleep and junk food at strange hours of the day and night are not going to help your emotional state. From now on I vow to get at least 6 hours sleep per night and eat 3 actual meals a day which will (shock) include fruit and vegetables!

2) Get a hobby outside of work (and not Netflix) My whole life currently consists of working, partying and crashing in front of Netflix. I need to get back to doing some of the things I love. Pick up a book, go to the cinema, go to a museum or the theatre. 

3) Write more. I don’t know if it works for everyone but for me writing everything down really helps to clear my mind. Thoughts tend to swirl around my brain, I overthink everything, get confused and work myself up into a silly state, by writing things down it helps to put things into perspective and untangle the jumbled mess that is my brain.

4) Get a project. From January through to July a large part of my time was taken up with preparations for Kilimanjaro and I think having that focus kept me a little sane. Don’t get me wrong I don’t intend to take on quite such a big challenge, but having something to focus on and work towards should keep the boredom at bay and give me something to distract myself with other than alcohol!

5) Drink less. An obvious one but nonetheless important. Alcohol is not the answer and in my case almost always leads to bad decisions. Luckily (although not really) my bank account is currently so poor it’s crying, so I cannot actually afford to drink for a while (yey)!

6) Laugh a lot. I fully believe that laughter is the best medicine and as long as you keep laughing and keep seeing the funny side of life you can’t go far wrong. 

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The end of summer sucks…

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There’s a particular feeling as summer comes to an end. A kind of nostalgic sadness. Even though I don’t have school or university to return to and my daily routine will alter very little, if at all there’s still a sense of something ending and reality returning.

Here’s how my summer started out, London was hot, I was happily single, I was off on a great adventure to climb a giant mountain, I had ridiculous work hours but a great group of work mates and a constant stream of social events, we drank in parks till we got locked in, went for after work drinks and stayed out till 7am, I started seeing a guy I had a huge crush on. Life was giddy, spontaneous, full speed ahead.

Now August has drawn to an end, it’s raining, the nights are shorter, the tourist crowds have disappeared and work is suddenly less intense, the summer romance has ended in tears and it’s like reality has suddenly come crashing in. 

It’s a summer I will look back on as completed madness and in spite of the lack of sleep, the crazy work schedule and the teenage levels of drama and heartbreak, as an absolute blast. It reminded me I am still so young I still have so much fun and so many great adventures to come. 

But although I am sad and mourning the end of those crazy days it is as they say the case of one door closing and another opening. This summer I remembered who I am, I had fun, I discovered who my real friends were, I moved out of the flat I had moved into with my ex and took a step into the next chapter of my life. So fear not summer lovers the arrival of autumn just heralds the next chapter, hopefully one with a little more sleep and a little less work, but one that I intend to enjoy every minute of nonetheless. 

Thank you summer 2017 for being insane and fabulous! Hello Autumn 2017 may you be just as much fun! 

What I learned climbing Kilimanjaro…
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What I learned climbing Kilimanjaro…

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It has taken me a while to write this post because how on earth do you put into words the experience of climbing 5895 meters to the top of the world’s highest freestanding mountain? It was at once the best and worst experience of my life. Horrendous altitude sickness, physical and mental exhaustion all faded away at the sheer exhilaration of reaching the summit and watching the sunrise on the world. It is something that I will never ever forget and it’s impact on me will be a permanent one. Here is what I discovered whilst climbing to the rooftop of Africa…

  1. The body is incredible, it can achieve things you never think it could. On summit night we set off at midnight on 2 hours sleep in -15C and we ascended over 1000 meters. 2 hours in and 5000 meters up I sat down and threw up. I had no energy I couldn’t even raise my arms to lift my water bottle to my mouth but somehow I dragged myself up the next 800 meters determined not to give up. And I survived. I may have come back down with a killer headache, numb legs and completely exhausted but my god my body is resilient. I now (and to those who know me this will come as a shock) go running for fun! Because after climbing a mountain a little run through the park is child’s play! 
  2. Running showers and working toliets are the best luxury and I will never ever take them for granted again. After 7 days of washing in a small bowl of lukewarm water and going to the toilet either behind a rock or in a toilet tent I cannot emphasise enough how much I love my shower and toilet!
  3. I am strong. This feeling comes and goes, but whenever I’m having a down moment I have to tell myself I climbed a giant ass mountain I can deal with a silly boy taking advantage of me or a horrible customer at work yelling at me that I ruined their day with cold food. I can achieve incredible things if I want and that’s what I need to hold on to. 
  4. The human spirit is incredible. Our group were climbing with charity challenge we all had stories, had all faced struggles in life and been broken, and we were all dragging ourselves up this mountain for a reason. We were all massively unprepared, a little undertrained and all hit with altitude sickness and other ailments along the way. But we never let it get us down we sang we danced and my god did we laugh. It turns out you can get through pretty much anything with a bit of laughter.  
  5. Never give up on your dreams. (The big one!) I’ve dreamt about climbing Kilimanjaro for so many years now and had the whole trip planned for a good 5 years before I took any steps to booking it, and whilst it may have been horribly tough and at times I wondered what the hell I was doing I cannot describe how happy I am that I did it. I am an expert at wanting to do something or wanting something and not having the courage to chase it, the biggest lesson I learnt is simply to be brave. Go after what you want, life is short and it might not work out but it might just and it could be amazing!